I am having a moment. Sure, it has lasted approximately 6 months, at least, now. But we shall call it a moment. A moment where I realize I don’t really like what I do anymore. I like parts of what I do, I like the principle behind what I do, but I don’t enjoy the HOW of what I do anymore.
What do you do when you don’t like what you do? 22 years of doing this. I wish I had the financial freedom to do WHATEVER. Because even if I didn’t have to work, I would still work. But I would like to not be cornered into needing to earn a certain amount of money. That would broaden the options immensely.
Meh. Chances are it would be the same BS just in a different job, with different people. Because if I have learned one thing, it is that there are good people everywhere, and there are pain in the ass people everywhere.
But I am not enjoying waking up every morning and having the first thing I think be BLARG. This morning I consciously told BLARG to go sit in the corner, and I chose to feel blessed by the good things I have in my life, my husband and child, the dogs, our house and food on the table.
Yesterday we were driving to a dinosaur exhibit with friends. The mom in the family mentioned her job puts her in contact with Birthday Wishes, an organization which throws birthday parties for homeless children. Cooper asked me what Birthday Wishes was, so I explained. The look on his face what the definition of incredulous. Children who don’t have HOMES? “Do they have mommies?” he asked. Yes, or daddies, or both, but they don’t have a home I told him.
I choose to be grateful for having the things we have, the necessary and unnecessary things. BLARG can go sit in the corner and think about what he has done.
Yay for telling BLARG to go take a flying leap!!
Having said that, I’m sorry to hear you are no longer enjoying what you do. Perhaps it’s just a little slump? Twenty-two years is a long time, if this is the first blarg moment you’ve had, then maybe it will pass.
That’s the first little ripple in the big giant ocean of change. You have that thought and then *Poof* something will happen…xoxo
Mama, I applaud your effort to kick BLARG to the curb- but I also applaud your dissatisfaction. ITS OK- its good, its IMPORTANT to want more.
PS- it isn’t always true that change begets the exact same thing in a different location. I once had a job most people would happily settle for, but I wanted more and now I am a fabulous Beverly Hills Lawyer to ridiculously wealthy people. I say, stomp on BLARG, but spend some time thinking about what will satisfy you, and go for it. The only real failure in life we have is the fear of the unknown.