Hair, hair, beautiful hair…

Anyone who has known me for any length of time has probably known me mostly with short hair. I mean short. It is probably 3 inches long right now. The last time I grew it longer was when I was pregnant. I thought I would try out, again, having a bob. If I could have any hairstyle I would have this one:

1920s-hairstyles-2012-11

You would think my hair would be PERFECT for this style. It is stick straight, and very fine. I have one word for you: COWLICKS. A lock of hair that grows in a direction different from the rest and that resists being combed flat. I have them. Several. Four. One right at the top right corner of my forehead, defying any attempt at those beautiful, straight, even bangs. Siiiiiiiiiiiiigh.

I also have hair that looks HORRIBLE TERRIBLE NO GOOD VERY BAD when grown out long. I give you this:

me at age 9ish

I am roughly 9 years of age here. I had braces when I was 8 – 10 years or so of age. I love this picture for so many reasons. The glasses, the braces, the HAIR. The choker worn OVER the turtleneck. I mean the fact I was not a fashion model was a crime.

I digress. Hair. When fine, straight hair tortured by cowlicks is grown long, it is not attractive. It is the opposite of that. I have had some variation on short hair for most of my life as a result.

At various times in my dating life I had guys suggest I should grow it longer. “It is more girly.” “It is more feminine.” To which I would respond “IT IS UGLIER. YOU grow YOUR hair long you like long hair so much.” Or something like that.

But generally speaking I didn’t think I was making a political statement. I was making a fashion choice. Not always a good one, I did abuse the permanent a few times. So I was fascinated by this article in which the author discusses another article that I won’t link to but you can find it if you want. The short version is there is a person out there who has established, through thorough scientific study no doubt, that women with short hair are deliberately destroying their femininity to punish men, to make a political statement and are, wait for it, damaged emotionally. “Short hair is a near-guarantee that a girl will be more abrasive, more masculine, and more deranged.”

My first reaction was Hahahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa**gasp**hahahahahahaaaaa.
Then I decided to go find this dude, this “author” and found the site the dude writes for, and I was first dumbfounded, then disgusted, then horrified, and now I am truly, genuinely dismayed. There are articles on this site that take misogyny to an art form. From articles like “How to land (and keep) a quality boyfriend” to “Don’t work for a female boss” to “The 15 magical years of womanhood” in which the author describes the prime years for looking good and making the most of your looks, as a woman, there seems to be no end to the close minded, wrong headed, chauvinistic jackassery they will write on this site. And these are just the articles written by THIS author. There are even more written by other “writers” who seem to know exactly how women should and do act, dress, procreate, as well as the evils of feminism, and the lies people are telling about rape.

At best I am hoping this site is kind of like a twisted badly thought out The Onion. A farce. But at worst, these people actually believe what they are writing. And other people are reading it and believing it. One article goes about detailing how 10% of children in this country are not fathered by the men the mothers are married to, but in fact, these women have cuckolded their spouses, and it was their vagina that betrayed them. There is a smattering of actual science stuck in between the idiotic and stupid things said in this article, lending just enough credence to the article that some people might actually believe most of what is written.

I am not sure what my point is, except that the internet has wrought so many wonderful things. Like Harlow, Sage and Indiana on Instagram, or the video of a mumuration. But it also has allowed any number of crackpots, or people with truly terrible intention to write and broadcast any amount of bullshit. And it ultimately interferes with us evolving as a species.

Now I need to cleanse my brain by looking at more pictures of those hilarious dogs.

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