Shunting cars and hauling freight…

“Earworm”: a portion of a song or other musical piece that gets stuck in a persons’ head or repeats endlessly against the persons’ will. That is what has been happening to me for at least the last 18 months with the nonsensical theme songs to the shows Cooper likes to watch. I know, it is a problem of my own creation. Had I not let him begin watching these shows, I would not continuously be tortured by the theme songs to Bob the Builder (can we build it? yes we can) Thomas the Tank Engine (they’re two, they’re four, they’re six, they’re eight, shunting cars and hauling freight), the happy birthday tune they sing on Sprout TV with the damn chirping Chicca, and the super annoying Dragon Tales.

I almost always have a song in my head to begin with, and in the past it would normally be a current tune or something I was listening to from my own music. I often wake up with a song in my head. It is like being a radio receiver but with almost no control over what station I am tuned to. For some reason I channel the 80’s in the morning. I have awoken to Dancing Queen, The Night the Lights Went Down in Massachusetts, things like that. Until now. Now I wake up with demented children’s songs in my head.

I once was under the care of an otolaryngologist, or ear, nose and throat guy to you laypeople, for tinnitus or ringing in the ear. It is a problem without resolution in my case, and in most people’s cases for that matter. The doctor said that in the industry, they joke around that one day someone with tinnitus will show up at a clinic and go postal on all the ENT’s in the room because they can’t help him. It is my theory that constantly repeating out of control theme songs to kids’ shows actually going to be the cause of that. Not even waking up to the Bee Gees is worse than an unstoppable loop of “Make way for Noddy, he’s coming round the bend”.

So if you hear about someone losing her mind and ramming her Honda CRV into a Dunkin Donuts building somewhere near Boston, it might well be me, just trying to make the music stop.

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