“Okay, am I blind or what?” asked The Bob last night. When I inquired as to what he was referring, he said he could not locate the rum. And here is where the primary difference between men and women, besides the biological ones of course, is most obvious. Looking for and finding things. I do not know why, but when men look for something, anything, whether it is the ketchup in the fridge or the remote to the TV, they only look at what is right in front of them. Heaven forfend they MOVE anything to look behind, under or around an object to find the item they seek.
The answer to his question was no, you are not blind, just male. The rum was hidden very ingeniously behind the vodka on the liquor shelf. That’s right, behind the CLEAR liquid in a CLEAR bottle that you could see the rum through, if one wasn’t blinded by the very existence of the vodka bottle to begin with.
My father and brother were just like this growing up. I could never figure out if it simply did not occur to them to move things to look for something else, or if it was just too frustrating to continue to look for something that was not immediately visible. Or is it laziness? The Bob is not a lazy man. He is one of the most helpful and involved dads and husbands I know. I listen to many other women complain about how absent and unhelpful their husbands are, and am supremely grateful for The Bob. But that doesn’t mean I won’t take this opportunity to question, and yes, mock.
Don’t think I am without flaws, oh dear reader, I am flawed. However, when I am on my never ending quest for my missing keys, I turn over every odd piece of anything – book, sweatshirt etc. I can, and look in every pocket or purse to find them. I do not stand in the middle of a room and say I can’t see them. Now, if I was really smart, I would always put the keys in the same place when I get home, so that I would always know where to find them. And in a world where I am not wrangling a 22 month old and fending off dogs as I get in the door, that might be possible. As it is I am lucky my keys even get taken out of the lock on the door before I close it again. Which sometimes they are not. I am helpful like that, though. I don’t want the burglars to have to break and enter, just enter.
So anyway, to The Bob, yup, I am talking about you in the blog. But see how I said nice things too?