My kid is the Swedish Chef

“Brd…wrk” says Cooper. “HUH?” says his mother. With more emphasis, like one is inclined to do when speaking to someone a little, well, slow, he repeats “BRD…WRK”. Riiiiight, brd wrk. Again, this time with a head nod to the side, emphasizing each syllable and eyes wide as if to say “How dense are you exactly” he repeats “BRD…WRK”.

We have many conversations like this. Many of Coopers words are missing vowels. Or have extra syllables. It is a lot like talking to the Swedish Chef from the old Muppet Show. “Bronga doo, trowda cheeeken indapot”. What I finally figured out was Cooper was repeating a line from the movie “Bugs Life” when they have made a fake bird to scare off the grasshopper bullies that are going to come back and kick some ant ass. Only that part is at the end of the movie, and we were watching the beginning of the movie, when the bugs encounter a REAL bird. The bird that is the inspiration for the fake bird. While they are being chased by the real bird, Cooper turned to me and said “Brd…wrk” which was his way of quoting the line which several bugs repeat later, “The bird will work.” But it was out of sequence, and spoken like he was a Swedish muppet, so it took me a solid few minutes to catch on.

In other news, I was on single mom duty for a few days here. The Bob went to Maine to visit his mother, who lives by herself and has been having some health issues. I suggested he go and check in with her in person, spend some quality time. So he did. She is doing well all things considered. Cooper and I survived. The hardest part as far as I can tell about doing the solo parenting thing is the morning routine. If Cooper sleeps in to at least 6:30, I can get my shower in and be ready to go when he gets up. Walking the dogs is another issue. Two out of the three reliably will do their business in the back yard, but Gus occasionally insists he needs to be walked down the street to poop. I am not sure what Freud would have to say about that, if Freud had anything to say about the bathroom habits of dogs.

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2 Comments

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2 responses to “My kid is the Swedish Chef

  1. Oz

    I’m alone 5 or so mornings each week, and, since Axel believes 5:30 is a reasonable hour to rise, I just skip the morning shower and shower at night. Not my favorite thing, but it’s all I can do. If I tried to shower while he was awake, I’d emerge to find him eating the toilet bowl plunger. Three dogs? I’d forgotten you had that many. I am so impressed.

  2. My hair, being short and obstinant, does not allow for showering at night and then being presentable in the morning. At the very least I have to wash my hair in the morning. And Cooper might not eat the plunger, but he migtht try flushing all the toilet paper and my cosmetics down the toilet.

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