You came into our lives three years ago today, quite unexpectedly and two months early. I never expected to be someone’s mother. I never really WANTED to be someone’s mom. But the universe had a different idea about how my life would go. So approximately 6 months after marrying your father, I found myself pregnant. From that moment on there was really no looking back.
Since the day you were born you have been reminding me of how much love I have to give. You have been reminding me how much joy there is in this life. You have been challenging me to think about life in a different way. You have been reminding me how big the world is, and how everything is new and even the little things can be massively exciting. There is so much fun in hunting for earthworms in the back yard. You love anything I draw for you, even managing to recognize that I drew you a cow or a cat or a dinosaur. You don’t care how well I draw, you are just happy I am drawing for you. You challenge me to find new ways of playing with blocks or toys even if they are totally not the way anyone who made the toy meant for them to be played with.
You also manage to frustrate and aggravate me in ways that make me crazy. If anyone else in my life pushed those buttons that way, I would want to walk away from them and not engage with them again. But that is not a choice I have with you. You are my responsibility, and you are my joy. I have to find a way to respond to that frustration and yes, sometimes anger, in a way that educates you on how to do things differently, without scaring you or hurting you. And in the effort of doing that, I have learned more about myself, and it has made me a better person in other parts of my life. I think I listen better to people at work, and I am better at thinking of different ways to solve a problem because of living my life on a daily basis with you.
You have grown into such a beautiful, funny and engaging little person. I am so happy and blessed to be part of this ride and I am excited to see where it goes from here. I hope your father and I manage to be the best parents we can be for you, and that we don’t do anything too horrific or humiliating in your lifetime. Although I cannot promise that I won’t wear silly costumes or sing silly songs in public, because I have before and I will again. There is always a price to pay for having parents, I just hope your price is one you can look back on some day and laugh.
I love you Cooper. Happy Birthday my sweet boy.