Girls not allowed in the tree house…

He tells me about how the earth is going to end. Not for a long time, but in the future, and another earth will appear somewhere else and everyone will go there. Apparently this is left over from a Dr. Who episode he watched months ago and it is now rising to his conscious thought. 

“It won’t happen until after I die” he tells me. “Oh good, and I hope that is a long long time from now” I respond. For some reason I ask “Cooper, do you think you will get married and have a family, like daddy and I did with you?” There is a pause, as he gives this consideration.

“Mommy, I want to do what E did. You know, with his two dads. :::::: My brain takes a moment here to process. E is a friend from preschool, who does indeed have two dads. This is the only example of a gay couple Cooper has had regular exposure to. One day as I was dropping him off at preschool, he saw E being dropped off by one of his dads, and Cooper announced, to no one in particular, more as a means of processing the information for himself “E has two dads…” He said it quite loudly, but without any judgement, or even a question. Just a statement of fact. E’s dad laughed and I said “Yes, yes he does.” And then I explained to his dad that this has been a subject of curiosity for Cooper and how we had spent time talking about how some people have one mom, one dad, sometimes two moms, or two dads, or sometimes only one parent. Cooper seemed satisfied that this was simply one variation of what it is to be a family.

So when he said he wanted to be like E’s dads, I wondered what this meant. It is not completely impossible that he would understand a preference for boys or girls at this age, but he is not exactly an early adopter of ANYTHING. He is the last to acquire almost every skill, so I sort of expect he will take a long time to be interested in relationships of any sort. And I am OK with that. Whatever his preference ends up being, we will be OK with it, but I would like that preference to take another 10 years, MINIMUM, to manifest itself, thankyouverymuch.

“So you mean you think you would like to be a dad, with another dad, and adopt a child?” I asked. “Oh, is THAT how that works” he responded. “Yes, neither of them are girls, so they cannot have a baby like I did. They had to adopt.” He thinks about this and says “That costs money huh.” “Yes, I imagine it does. But what made you think this is how you want to have a family?” “Oh never mind. Let’s not talk about it anymore” he says, turning over. I think about this for a minute. “Do you like someone” I ask. “NO. Let’s stop talking about it” he says like I have just suggested he should try eating asparagus. “Do you think girls are icky” I ask, poking him. “Aaaaggghhhh, just stop talking about it” he says, pulling the sheet over his head. 

Ah. He isn’t making a statement about his sexual preference. He is making a statement about how he thinks it is preferable to him to consider raising a child with another dude, rather than having to deal with a GIRL. Because girls are gross. Carry on being six years old little dude. Carry on. 



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2 responses to “Girls not allowed in the tree house…

  1. Grr, why did my comment get eaten?

    Anyway, I loved this post. Kids have a very interesting way ofthinking about things.

  2. I speak for myself when I say that girls can be kind of bossy.

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