My Father’s Day post, a day late

First of all, I am the worst daughter because I managed to forget to call my father yesterday.It’s not like I could forget it was Father’s Day. I was reminded when my son and I gave a card and a new rake to The Bob and we went out to breakfast. I was reminded at the Red Sox game we went to when they played recorded snippets from the players to their fathers. It was everywhere. But to be fair to me, my brain was COOKED by the time we got home from the game. I love that we have the T in Boston, to get to and from most things pretty easily. But on game days, it is the worst. You are crammed in on a train with all the other sweaty, and by now inebriated in many cases, game goers. It is a challenge for me when my personal space is usually about 3 feet out all around.


I have shared previously the things that I have to thank my father for. A love of gardening, learning to throw, hit and catch a baseball. My love of photography. My first experience with a camera was with a Brownie that was my fathers. A love of classical and jazz music, although it took me a long time to get there.

One thing I noticed though as I was on the book of faces on and off all day, was the number of women who chose to post pictures of their fathers from their own wedding day. As the father of the bride. And I realized I do not have that picture. I have been married twice, and neither time did we do a traditional wedding. And by the time I married The Bob, I was 40. No one was giving me away. I was choosing to marry Bob, and he me. We didn’t have dancing. We did have great food, wine, and a lot of chatter with good friends. It was more dinner party than wedding.

But I will acknowledge that this independence that is at the core of my person, that says “I am making this choice, and I am not the property of someone to give away” is to a certain extent the gift of my father. It is the gift of both of my parents, but I can see that throughout my life my father made sure that he was raising a child who would stand for herself. I remember him teaching me the right way to shake hands, with confidence, when I was young. I remember him teaching me things about a car that had nothing to do with driving it. He did try to teach me to drive, but we quickly realized that teaching when you had to speak your thoughts out loud before you wanted someone to do something was not necessarily his strong suit. But he taught me the things you need to know about a car. I learned to sail, to fish and to build a fire from my dad. I learned to use tools, how to clean a swimming pool and wash a car properly. I learned how mow a lawn, shovel snow and when I came home from girl scout camp and said I liked canoeing, he bought me a canoe. I couldn’t lift it by myself for anything, but he got one!

I appreciate that he was supportive and caring even when he was hard to be around, when the migraines were taking over his brain or other issues were in control. He has always been a man of integrity, and made sure his family had all of the basic needs covered and then some.

So happy Father’s Day. We love you!

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